Life's a Climb

Did anyone else plan their entire lives when they were younger? I know I sure did, and I still do. Married at 21, A big wedding in my backyard with sunflowers and blue dresses, and of course cowboy boots, and LOTS of dancing. Twins by 24, and a few years later a total of 6 kids, stable job with a big house on a farm in the country, in Michigan of course, and lots of animals. Retired by 60 so I can travel and explore with my husband while we're still young. I mean seriously, I have whole Pinterest boards dedicated to my wedding, kids, house, and future.


Then we grow up and find nothing turns out the way we expected and we have no idea what God is doing in our lives or even if He is doing anything. 

Last night I had a dream or vision, whatever it was it hit me deep, right where I needed to be hit. I was up north in the UP climbing up a mountain (because we all know there's definitely mountains up there.)  Parts of the mountain were made of sand, some rock, and some ice. But before I began to climb the mountain, someone read to me, from a book of each climb, every step I would take to get up that mountain. At one point they told me I would grab on to a slab of ice, which would break off and I would slip. I would fall a few feet down, but then I would reach out blindly and grab onto another piece of ice and I would be okay, just a few bumps, bruises, and scrapes, and I would be a little scared.

Well knowing that I was going to fall and not trusting that I would be okay, when I began to climb the mountain and came to that chunk of ice I grabbed onto it, chipped it off, and threw it down the side of the mountain. 

But as it turns out, that piece of ice and slipping was the only way for me to get up that mountain. I was stuck. Then I woke up.

Life and a relationship with God is so much like that. We have to climb these huge mountains in life without safety gear, trusting God along the way. Sometimes we will slip and fall and have to blindly reach out and grasp onto anything or anyone we can find. But in the end, we'll be okay. 

All the time I just want God to tell me what I'm going to encounter on my climb through life and how I can get through/over it. But if God actually did just tell us, or show us what is going to happen in our future, we would only become like God and try to alter our path. Those rough times might scare us and we would avoid them or try to get rid of them. But in the end, going through those scary or not so fun times, might be the only way we can make it up the mountain, make it through life. 

So the next time you question God's plan for you or you're in the midst of a trying time, know that He's got you. He's your safety gear and He will ALWAYS catch you WHEN you fall.

John 16:33 "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the wold." 
Proverbs 16:9 In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.
Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Self-Image: The War We Fight Against Ourselves

Earlier this summer my mom and I went to the beach to see the kites at the kite festival in Grand Haven, and to people watch (one of our favorite hobbies). As we were people watching…and possibly eaves dropping… there were two girls, probably about 12-13 years old, walked past me. One girl was taller and slimmer and the other friend was shorter and not as slim (Not fat either!) As they walked by, the taller friend was saying how she was fat. (She was definitely NOT fat.) The shorter friend then said what anyone would say to a girl that age and that small, “you’re not fat!” and she was right. However, she went on to say, “you have a thigh gap. Stop, look, there is a huge gap in between your thighs. You’re not fat!” To which the other girl responded, “yeah, but compared to most other people I am.”

Well I have something to say to those two girls. Neither one of you are fat. Yes, you are built differently, but neither one of you are fat. Not even close. Time to sound cliché, but you are both built beautifully and in the image of God.

Body image is a war that we fight against ourselves. I mean, think about it. I admit, I compare myself to everyone I pass on the street. Wishing I was shorter, had longer hair, whiter teeth, a flatter stomach, and that ever famous thigh gap. But as I’m passing that girl on the street rocking the messy bun and shorts, she’s wishing she had nicer clothes like that girl shopping with her mom in the store. My point being, we are constantly comparing ourselves to someone who is “better” than us, while they are constantly comparing themselves to someone “better” than them. It’s an endless cycle.

Ephesians 2:10 (NLT) “For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things He planned for us long ago.”

We are God’s MASTERPIECE!

Here’s a little poem thing I wrote a while ago. Read it. Seriously.

Masterpiece

Precisely painted

Carefully carved

Beautifully brought to life

                                    My Masterpiece.

Nothing can compare.

Mona Lisa, Statue of Liberty, Starry Night,

Nothing.

                                    My Masterpiece.

Yet you criticize, critique, kill my work.

Not good enough. Ugly. What were you thinking?

If only you knew what I know,

And could see what I see.

Then you would know that I know what I’m doing.

                                    My Masterpiece.

A slap to the face,

A jab to the heart.

That’s what I feel when you hate my art.

                                    My Masterpiece.

I love you.

Others marvel at you beauty.

Why can’t you see it too?

                                    My Masterpiece.

Turn around.

Look in the mirror.

See her?

She’s you.

                                    My Masterpiece.

Precisely painted

Carefully carved

Beautifully brought to life.

                                    My Masterpiece.

God spent so much time creating you. Before you were even conceived he was drawing, painting, and carving you. If we were to go tell Leonardo da Vinci that the Mona Lisa sucks and critique it saying how ugly she is and how it isn’t really a piece of art. Imagine how much that would hurt him. He spent so much time on her and he was so proud of his work. Well, that’s how God feels when we critique and judge not only others, but ourselves! We are God’s masterpiece.

So to the girls at the beach; neither of you are fat. You’re young and you have so much more to focus your attention on besides your self-image at such a young age. 

To everyone else; guys and girls, in the words of Aibileen Clark from The Help, "You is kind, you is smart, you is important." And I love you all mucho :)

My First Blog EVER-Enjoy :)

As some of you may have seen, a few days ago I posted a little blashphema (definitely a word) about my life on Instagram. I opened with this prayer by a man named Thomas Merton, we're close friends ;)

"My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road, though I may know nothing about it. Therefore I will trust you always, though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone." (I bolded a few key phrases.)

This prayer was introduced to me by someone met a few years ago and it occasionally pops into my head, usually when I am feeling as if I am supporting the whole world on my back. On March 16, 2016, I was accepted to study abroad in Spain this fall! And I could not have been more ecstatic. Living in another country, away from home no less (no worry rents, I still love you, but I like being independent), studying another language and becoming fully immersed with the goal of becoming a Spanish Immersion Teacher, trying new foods, meeting new people, and traveling. All of these things sound great, right?! Well they did to me too. But as the time nears for me to leave (August 30th) I start feeling more and more anxious. I've been feeling as though I am in the ocean during a storm and just when I think I am going to get the chance to come up for a breath another wave crashes over me and pushes me farther and farther away from the surface.

A couple of days ago I listened to a sermon on line about living an anxiety free life. Psh okay, yeah right. Anxiety free life? Yeah, not possible. Sorry Mr. Preacher-man, but you're nuts. But wait, he then goes on to explain that we have no reasons to worry or be anxious or afraid. (Luke 12:22-34) Jesus lifts that anxiety from us, just like our sins, if we allow him. The pastor then goes on to point out that a fog that covers 7 city blocks equals less than a glass of water. A fog that covers 7 city blocks equals less than a glass of water! Yet that fog has the capacity to shut down the whole city. How similar is anxiety to that? Something that seems so small, like leaving to another country for 3 1/2 months, can shut down someone's entire life.

Going back to Thomas' prayer; I have NO idea where I'm going. Yes, I'm physically going to Sevilla, Spain for a semester to study Spanish. I will get there by airplane, train, and car. But where am I going emotionally, spiritually, even mentally? Life is filled with "I don't knows" and these passed few weeks I've been drowning in "I don't knows". I'm halfway through college and I don't know what I want to be when I "grow up", other than a wife and a mommy (to 30,000 children.) I don't know how I'm going to afford college, but does anyone really? I'm a Christian, but I don't know if I can continually trust God with MY life. I DON'T KNOW! 
But there is one thing that I know and that is the fact that God has this path laid out for my life and He's waiting for me to follow Him down that path.

Now I want to explain to you the difference between anxious and eager, because I often hear people confusing the two asking me if I'm anxious to leave for Spain, when they really mean eager. Yes I'm VERY anxious! And because I know my HS English teacher would be proud on this little grammar lesson :)

Anxious(dictionary.com): full of mental distress or uneasiness because of fear of danger or misfortune; greatly worried; solicitous--> or in Michaela's words; nervous
Eager (dictionary.com): Keen or ardent in desire or feeling; impatiently longing--> or again in my words; excited.

In the definition of 'eager' when it uses the word longing, does that remind anyone else of the Full House episode when Viper (DJ's newest boyfriend and Uncle Jesse's newest guitarist) is singing the line "longing for home" over and over again, trying to gain Uncle Jesse's approval. Longing for home. I have the feeling that in the next few months I am going to be longing for my home here in the Mitten. I know Spain is going to be the greatest opportunity of my life and that God has great things in store, but Ma, Pa, even you Little Guy, I'll miss y'all lots. But not only will I be longing for my home here, but also throughout my life I have been and will be continuing to long for my home with my Abba Father.

So, to those of you who have been patient enough to read through and keep up with my jumbled thoughts, thank you mucho! And I invite you to join me as I spit out my thoughts on things and also as I journey to Spain! (I'll try to give you, at least, weekly updates. Hopefully) Much love!

P.S. La Luz de Esperanza means The Light of Hope in Spanish. And I found it fitting to title my first ever blog in Spanish and I love the word Esperanza.